The phrase "change is hard" has far been overused, but for good reason-it's true! To change takes work, consistent effort, fortitude.
It also takes that hidden ability to care less about what other people think. It's the "care less about what people think" portion of the change process that ends up being more challenging than actually just changing-at least usually for me, and often times for the clients I coach.
The reality is, those closest to you have known you as you are-not as you desire to be. So when you decide to do something like eat healthier, workout more, eat out less, or just make healthier choices in general-relationships change, too.
In the beginning-it's only a little uncomfortable.
You tell your significant other you're making healthier choices, and together you skip your weekly take out for a night in cooking together. The weekends a success.
But then comes Monday, and you're still eating healthy. Cue the comments.
"That doesn't even look good"
"Is that all you're eating"
"Are you going to scan everything you eat"
The words start to get under your skin. You start to question your choices.
That night, you trade your favorite show together for a quick workout in the other room-girl you got goals!
Ladies, we all know how this scenario plays out!
We start off strong, nailing our choices and rocking our new lifestyle that's invigorating and energizing and fills us with pride and excitement! But the reality is, starting off strong doesn't stay strong when we don't have a support system around us. Our instinct is not to make people feel uncomfortable, not to put our needs first. And so, when our plans for a workout or a colorfully prepared plate are threatening to interfere with those around us-even just slightly, we have this tendency to brush it off as a lower priority to their continued comfort.
That poor hubby was really looking forward to his weekly Friday night pizza order and beers in front of the television-how dare you plan to lace up your shoes and get out for a long walk with plans of coming back to eat leftovers from a Tupperware container!?!
And it's not just my husband! I know this, I've talked to hundreds of women all struggling with that someone they don't want to inconvenience or make uncomfortable about their own choices. We are not alone.
It's natural for those around you, that love you, that know you as you are now to feel a little threatened, or judged, or uncertain. And the thing to remember is, they love you and they want you to be happy. Help them see how this will make you happy long-term!
When you can, help them understand how to be your advocate for change and deepen your relationship with this new layer of support and understanding.
When you can't, when you're in the company of naysayers and saboteurs, take a moment to understand them. Often it's their own personal insecurities that are bubbling out as rude comments, sideways glances or "just because" candies and cupcakes on your desk.
AND FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE for fixing the insecurities of others! Remember when I said the harder part of change isn't actually changing, its caring less about what people think about you. I'm not lying.
To say you want to change implies you want to be different, that what you are currently isn't acceptable. It's a vulnerable position to be in. And vulnerable is always uncomfortable.
The women participating in the Live Happy On Purpose project met for coaching last night and the support around this topic was incredible! I invite you to join us, here. You don't have to change alone.